Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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