you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Houston, we have a blender
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There's even glitter on my cock...
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