i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
