Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
