2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Sacagawea was the original milf.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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