Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize