What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
