We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
