im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So much Jack, so little girl.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
