you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
