Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
