If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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