Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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