watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize