glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
