Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
