I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
