Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
