my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
