I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
