I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
