Dual....:-)
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize