you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
