If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
