By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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