I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
