No stitches, just platelets and will power
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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