Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize