For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
