forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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