sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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