Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
