Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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