oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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