So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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