i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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