I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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