That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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