dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
