that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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