haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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