I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
