it wasn't lemon gatorade
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
