We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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