Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
