counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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