I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize