you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
