My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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