watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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