I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
