I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
