walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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