Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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