Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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