Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
handjob tips. give me some.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
