I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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