There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
