I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Don't tell me you're on acid again
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
