i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im holly from the hills drunk
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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