did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
