My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
