i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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