Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
