Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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