New invention idea: vibrating tampons
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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