Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
