I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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